You Saved My Life

I often think of Jesus' command to let my good deeds be done secretly before my Heavenly Father and not in front of men to get their praise and attention.  Then I think of David who wrote in the Psalms, "I have not neglected to declare your mighty works before the congregation."  And then I get confused.  :)  I want the reader here to know that the story you are about to read is what God has done, not anything that I have done.

Soul & a Name

Soul # 40

• We recently expanded our location to include the Cafe Room in the Community Life Center of Salem First Baptist Church.  We sit outside on the sidewalk directly across from the Skate Park in downtown Salem now, once a week, hoping to interact more with the teenagers, but quite honestly, we would like a warm, dry place to continue meeting through the winter months.  On the first day we opened with a smidge of coffee and pastries, the older gentleman who I see as the leader of our group, waved across the street to three homeless people sitting on the bench.  He recognized one.  This Soul from the Skate Park sat down and gladly took some coffee and began to share how he was homeless and how badly he was hurting.  He said he had two sores on his leg and foot.  They were getting bad enough that he could not barely walk.  Our leader asked to see them.  He lifted it up and we talked about what it might be.  A spider bite or some bacteria, but it was pretty swollen across his shin.  Our leader said, "You really need to have that looked at.  You could lose your leg, it's serious."  Soul #40 said, "I would go to the hospital but I don't think I can walk that far."  The group said that someone could drive him.  I volunteered because my car was around the corner.  I remember being slightly annoyed that I was going to have to leave the group for this person's need.  (That's how much this is not about me.)  I even politely asked him if he would wash his hands for sanitation sake!  On the car ride I got to know him a bit, dropped him off at the emergency room, I prayed for him and went back.  That was about three weeks ago.  Fast forward to this week.  We were outside the Cafe room again, and who should walk across the street?  Soul #40 came right up to me and said, "You know what?  You saved my life.  Do you go to church here?  I went into the office last Sunday and said 'Please thank the woman who gave me a ride to the hospital, she saved my life.'"  I said, "Well I think you're mistaken - it was our fearless leader who said you should go to the hospital, he's the one who saw it for what it was.  How bad was it?"  He replied, "The infection went into the bone.  I was on IV antibiotics for three days.  I couldn't wait to come and tell you thank you."  I said, "Praise God!  I can't believe it!"  He smiled and told a few more people and then shortly left for the park.  A few minutes later he came across the street and talked to me again.  "I wanted to tell you too, that my life has changed since then.  Someone found housing for me.  It's a small cottage in downtown Salem that's fully furnished for only $200 a month.  I'm off the streets."  I said, "Wow, God's really at work in your life right now!"  He said he was so happy he was no longer homeless.  I asked if this meant I wasn't going to ever see him again?  He said he might come back if he could.  He left saying, "God bless you!"

We have prayed that God would be at work in spite of us, even while we are not presently downtown.  We pray that God would restore life to this entire space with no respector of persons.  I personally don't feel called to minister to the older, established homeless community which explains my bad attitude that day.  See, that is why God is so good and worthy to be praised and I am not.  He answers that prayer, in fact, that is the nature of His character and purpose - He is always at work.  My job as His servant is to align myself with the things He is already doing.  And barely I got to join in, at the last second, by begrudgingly giving a car ride.  I suppose if the world wants to praise me for a two minute taxi, they can, but I can assure you it's not a big deal.  That God is bringing life to someone and that I get to hear the report and jump up and down with a stranger about it - well, that's GRACE, pure and true!

I'm not against institutionalized church; in fact I believe it is extremely wise to partner with them as co-laborers for the kind of task we desire to accomplish.  Everyone needs a building for their place of access to the peoples.  And don't ever believe anyone who suggests we might make LESS COFFEE.  A recipe for lunacy I assure you!  ;)

Jesus, make us equal for the task.  Our hearts and minds are filled at times with what You can do, but Your ways are higher and Your thoughts higher.  I praise you that You are at work in spite of my short vision.  Please continue to move in these spaces beyond our humanity and through your eternal Spirit.  I ask God in your holy, set apart Name that you would watch over this Soul and keep Him safe from physical and spiritual attack; that He would testify greatly about You in all the places that he travels.  

"Pre-Conversion Disciples"

Jesus is asked two questions about how many people take hold of "salvation."

One, "Who then can be saved?"  Jesus replies, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."  That question of "who" redirected our attention to whose Personhood qualifies us to take hold.

Two, "'Lord, are there few who are saved?'  And He said to them, 'Strive to enter through the narrow gate.  For many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able.'"  Luke 13:23-24.

I wish evangelists were as humble as this man was to ask Jesus how many are saved.  Jesus said that He would build His church; it's not my job.

I wish more would redefine hope for salvation in terms of pressing into the Kingdom, because the word "salvation" as it is used in the New Testament usually is speaking about our experience of this life and the resurrection life, and infrequently meaning who is going to heaven.

Soul & a Name

Soul # 14

• Soul #14 is an older, married man who holds a steady job.  He has children and grandchildren, some of which live in his home.  He has worked the graveshift for 20 years.  When he wakes up in the afternoon he comes to the coffee shop to have his morning cup.  We grew accustomed to seeing him earlier this summer, when he wouldn't talk hardly at all but would regularly sit there and keep to himself.  After a couple weeks he opened up a little to the most outgoing regular older guy who is part of our group.  However he never said much to Janet or I.  After a couple of months he would small talk for a minute to us.  I would talk about Jesus occasionally and I got no response.  But things changed in September when I offered communion and I asked him what he thought.  He agreed with solemnity and excitement.  From that day on, something happened to him (as it did for all of us).  It was like he saw things through the lens of belonging to a group.  He opened up to us and spent time visiting with all.  He made sure everyone had a seat before he'd take one.  He brought his wife one afternoon.  On another day, one of our physically ill regulars could not make it because he was so sick.  The next time Soul #14 saw him, he put his hand on his shoulder and leaned over and said to him, "We are praying for you."  NO WAY JESUS.  Last week, Janet asked him individually what he thinks of all this God stuff.  She found out that he went to a church when he was a young child, but he doesn't remember what kind of church it was.  He doesn't know much about churches or the Bible, but has always believed in God.  His family goes to church on Easter or at Christmas.  Soul #14 likes small groups.  He likes getting to know people personally without a lot of show or drama and his wife is the same way.       

Jesus, I pray that your Holy Spirit would fill this soul and that his whole family would invite You in to follow You together as their own new little church community.  I pray that this man's family will see You at work and turn to you with their whole hearts, forever, to your glory and praise.




I've been living in this tension of where Soul # 14 was and is.  But God knows!  Does it matter who is saved and who is not?  Yes of course.  But there is more on the line than just going to heaven.  I will strive for the narrow gate!!

Gods choices

I read with children at a local elementary school and this week was the start of reading with students for this new school year. One  of my students in 2nd grade shared how in 14 days he was going to have a new baby brother and that he was excited. I asked him if he had other brothers and sisters and he said he had one younger brother. He then shared that his Dad wanted a boy and his brother also wanted a boy but that his Mom wanted a girl and so did he. Then he said but God wanted a boy, and He got to choose!!!

That simple comment has really stayed with me all week. How do I look at God when He gets to choose things in my life that maybe goes against what I want? Do I fight against Gods choices, or do I submit to His far greater understanding and accept that His ways are higher than mine? (Isaiah 55:8-9) As I submit and see His choice is born out of love for me and knowing things that I don't know, can I then get as excited about His choice as I would if I had my choice?

Lord, help all of us to submit to Your plans and purposes and Your choices with a grateful and excited heart and with a childlike faith that is so precious to You.

Compelled to Pray

Note: The images used on this blog of downtown scenes and individuals are public domain.

Soul & a Name

Soul # 25.  

We met Soul # 25 mid-summer.  The first thing he said to me when he met me was, "I know you."  I said, you do?  "When I was a kid, I remember you, you were nice but I can't remember where."  Today he is 20.  

He was downtown for several hours every day.  His mom has owned a well-known restaurant in the downtown area and was very successful and busy till she contracted diabetes.  She turned angry and had to stay home a lot.  Soul #25 did meth, and when he was 18 she kicked him out.  He got in a fight at the Union Gospel Mission so he is no longer allowed to stay there - he can't even eat there.  He also stayed at TLP - a housing ministry to homeless young adults, but he stayed there the maximum time alloted, long ago.  About six months ago meth caused him to have a stroke.  He will never do meth again because of it.  Slowly he is regaining his feeling and use of the one side of his body.  

One day I will never forget how compelled I was to pray for him when one of us entrusted him with money and a errand.  He came through that stewardship very well!!  Coincidently it turns out the police detained him and found nothing against him - that was why I was praying so hard I found out!

He was searching for a job.  Daily when we saw him, he was hungry and when we talked about the weather turning bad he became seriously stressed.  "Do you have enough to stay warm?" we asked.  He said he had a tent and only one blanket.  So we got him a sleeping bag and he allowed me to drop him off where he was camping.  Let's just say it's downtown Salem - these places are coveted and protected from general knowledge.  

We didn't see him through the rainstorms we've had lately.  Then, Friday last, Soul # 25 was walking a couple streets away from mine in Keizer.  I pulled over to say hi.  An ex-girlfriend told him that the child she is having is his.  He looked happy.  The girlfriend's mom is letting him live with them in her home.  His face lit up.  

My heart turns over at the condition of this budding little family....  But I can't help but praise God for the look of joy and hope in his eyes.  He he has a place he belongs.  He has been taken off the streets and has a place to live.  This is an answer to prayer.  

Father, watch over Soul #25 and continue to show your goodness in His life.  You love far deeper than anyone ever will.

"You cannot be what you cannot see."

- Jo Saxton

Souls on the Street

This weekend the Spirit told me to expect a storehouse of a variety of ministry to be in partnership with me.  This blog is one small step in faithfulness to that end.

On Monday I went in to see the women's ministry leader at Salem First Baptist and I shared what God had put on my heart that people don't need to see me dance again, but instead I would love to lead women in simple, repeatable worship dance together.  She loves the idea.

Well.  Tuesday I went downtown with my ministry partner.  She was recalling an instance when she was able to lead someone to God in her dance group.  I said, "Oh, you dance?"  Turns out she is into Hebraic dance too, only she has been leading women in this for years!  UNBELIEVABLE!  God is so good.  Would you also trust the Spirit in you to accomplish what is good and right?

Now I tell you before it comes, that when it does come to pass, you may believe that I am He.  John 13:19

Soul & a Name

Soul # 28.

• There have been many youths we've met on the street.  Some of them we still know.  Others we've known for a month or two never to be seen again.  Still others we meet only once.  The soul we met yesterday I will call Soul # 28 for his confidentiality.  Soul # 28 sat outside on the ground between downpours with a hat turned up for donations.  He had a sturdy winter coat on.  We went outside to talk to him and he appreciated a hot chocolate from us.  Soul # 28 grew up in Arizona.  He is 20 years old.  Last summer his mom was thrown in jail and will get out in 2018.  He's been on the move ever since.  He doesn't have many other relatives.  He is not sure where he is going to go next.  Maybe Eugene, maybe Washington.

Jesus, we lift up this soul to you and trust you to give him hope, salvation and a family.  Psalm 68:6 "God sets the solitary in families."

Radio Silence

I've been silent.  You might be wondering why.

Four years I have been doing what in the fictional intelligence world of "La Femme Nikita" is called "Mandatory Refusal."  It means communication lines are severed and intel stops flowing.  In the sixth episode of season two, Michael's comm unit has been seized by the enemy's equipment; there is a breach in Section One.  Therefore Michael goes black to complete the mission before reporting in.

Has that ever been a picture of your life?  Obviously we don't have comm units in our ear through which we exchange intel with a base station.  How about when trust is lost?  When trust is low, what you say can be read the wrong way no matter how you try to explain it.  Communications are in all functionality, severed.  But your choices are not.

Sometimes we choose to do the right things because it's the right thing to do - even when no one understands that for the time being.

The works God has called me to faithfully oversee are now enough underway that I can share the remaining last steps publicly without risking losing the hearing of those I want to win.  It would be ironic to win God's plans without also winning people to it.  Right?  To the glory of God He has given me clarity through a sea of variables and I pray He will continue.  I have come out the other side gaining those things I hoped for!  He has saved me and given me purpose and I want to honor Him alone.  What a wonderful thing it is to undertake the interests of the Father!

The Spirit wants me to do a daily blog.  Nothing theologically fancy.  Nothing purely devotional.  Not totally about revival or how to start a movement or about homemaking.  God has asked me to open up my life and share it.  I don't like to and I don't want to.  I have asked God to forgive me.

I will also meditate on all your work, and talk of your deeds.  Psalm 77:12